Help Meet Or Hurtful Mate?
By: Brian A. Yeager
God’s plan for marriage began like this: “And the Lord God planted a garden eastward in Eden; and there he put the man whom he had formed. And out of the ground made the Lord God to grow every tree that is pleasant to the sight, and good for food; the tree of life also in the midst of the garden, and the tree of knowledge of good and evil. And a river went out of Eden to water the garden; and from thence it was parted, and became into four heads. The name of the first is Pison: that is it which compasseth the whole land of Havilah, where there is gold; And the gold of that land is good: there is bdellium and the onyx stone. And the name of the second river is Gihon: the same is it that compasseth the whole land of Ethiopia. And the name of the third river is Hiddekel: that is it which goeth toward the east of Assyria. And the fourth river is Euphrates. And the Lord God took the man, and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it. And the Lord God commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat: But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die. And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. And out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof. And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him. And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed” (Genesis 2:15-25).
It is not good that man should be alone. That point is consistent throughout the Scriptures in various ways (i.e. Ecclesiastes 4:7-12, Galatians 6:1-2, Ephesians 4:16, etc.). We NEED dependable people from our spiritual and physical families to help us through our lives in this world. None of us can go it alone and succeed spiritually or physically. Again, that can be seen from Adam in the garden throughout the Scriptures to the establishment of the church of Christ.
However, things do not always act as they are designed to. God has given us all freewill (Deuteronomy 5:29, Deuteronomy 30:15-20, Joshua 24:14-16, Ecclesiastes 7:29, Luke 8:4-15, Acts 2:40-41, and Hebrews 3:6-14). As I am sure we are all aware of, the helpmeet that God provided for Adam used her freewill to sin and caused her husband to sin (Genesis 3:1-16). Adam’s helper turned out to be for his hurt (Genesis 3:17-24). When the helper turns to be harmful, it is no longer good for a man to have his helpmeet. Let’s consider that.
When It Becomes Better That Man Be Alone
Obviously, as we have already read, it is not good for a man to be alone. There are exceptions to this though. Consider these inspired words: “A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones… A foolish son is the calamity of his father: and the contentions of a wife are a continual dropping… It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house… It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman… A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike. Whosoever hideth her hideth the wind, and the ointment of his right hand, which bewrayeth itself” (Proverbs 12:4, Proverbs 19:13, Proverbs 21:9, Proverbs 21:19, and Proverbs 27:15-16).
Women are either the backbone of the home (Proverbs 31:10-31) or the destructive force that divides the family (Proverbs 14:1). In such a time that a woman decides not to be the helper she was designed to be, she is not carrying herself as God designed her. At that point, she is obviously not helping anyone (including herself). On the other side of this point, if a woman so chooses to fulfill the purpose behind her existence she will be invaluable to her family.
When She Is A Helper
A godly woman is a wonderful blessing for a man to find (Proverbs 19:14). A godly woman accepts and follows what God expects her to be as a wife and mother. Consider these things: “The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed” (Titus 2:3-5).
Let me speak here from experience. I have found a woman that fits all you just have read. Because of my great fortune, I can assure you that the life you live with such a godly woman will be joyous both physically and spiritually. My wife, as God wants her to be, is the backbone of my home. At the same time, she understands her place in the marriage (Ephesians 5:22-33). Many of us have seen the opposite in marriages of supposed Christians over the years. A woman whom chooses to be a disruptive force in a marriage will succeed in creating a miserable home for her family. A woman is that powerful. Ladies, use that power for good rather than for evil. Understand the joy you can have in a marriage instead of creating a train wreck for a home. Proper behavior will both grant a godly woman peace as well as all in her home.
The inspired word of God says this: “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD” (Proverbs 18:22). Men, if you have not done so already, find yourself a good woman. Ladies, if you are not already fulfilling the role God intended you to take, do so. Be a godly woman that makes both your Lord and husband look good. A miserable life can be made from a woman who is rebellious and hateful. Ladies, do not be a Jezebel (I Kings 21:25).
Volume 16 – Issue 35 - May 15th, 2016