One That Ruleth Well His Own House
By: Brian A. Yeager
Hypothetically, let’s say that I received an email from a woman who says that she is a Christian. Let’s say it read like this: “Let me tell you first that we are both Christians and we attend __________ church of Christ. My husband and I were arguing the other day. Then he got his bible out and started trying to tell me that I needed to obey him. I wasn’t going to listen to that. I know that he is to be the man of the house and all that. But him saying I need to obey him is out of line. What Scriptures show that marriage is supposed to be equal with the man and wife? Also what Scriptures show that we should obey our laws? I told him that our laws say that women have equal rights. Help me help him see that.”
Hypothetically, let’s say that I responded like this: “Dear ________: I am sorry to read that you and your husband are arguing. Marriage, if patterned after the word of God, is a wonderful thing. If you both proclaim to be Christians you must reconcile your differences and unite under the will of God. If not, the division between the two of you will result in a fallen household (Mark 3:25).
I do not know you, but the attitude displayed in your email to me is troubling on several fronts. If your husband opened the Scriptures up, why didn’t you listen (Luke 6:46)? If, and I must emphasize the word “if”, your husband is taking a righteous stand you are supposed to obey him (I Peter 3:1-6). “If” is important because your husband does not have the right, from God, to expect you to obey him to the disobedience of God (Acts 5:29 and Galatians 1:10). Please read those Scriptures. That is the answer to your first question. If you rebel against the Scriptures you are disobeying not only your husband; you are also disobeying God. The consequences of such are far worse than anything you are going through with your husband (John 12:48, II Thessalonians 1:7-9, and Hebrews 10:26-31).
Secondly, there are NO Scriptures that show marriage has equal roles for a man and a woman. Notice this Scripture: “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord” (Colossians 3:18). That should change your attitude completely. However, if you choose to be a contentious woman you are going to make your husband miserable (Proverbs 21:9, Proverbs 21:19, and Proverbs 27:15). If he is a man with a spiritual mindset he’ll not allow that to happen for very long. He will put you in your place. If you continue to rebel, and he is godly and right in these things, he will take the proper actions (Matthew 18:15-17). If that doesn’t work, you might also find yourself homeless.
Regarding obedience to the law, the Scriptures do teach man is to obey civil law (Romans 13:1-5 and I Peter 2:13-16). However, a man that allows his wife to reign equally in his home is disobeying God. As noted before (Acts 5:29), no man or law takes authority over God’s law. God’s law is clear that the husband is to have authority over his wife (I Corinthians 11:3). Thus, if your husband is asking you to submit to his godly leadership – you MUST. There is nothing more to say. I hope you will take heed to God’s will concerning this. Be the type of woman God wants you to be (Proverbs 31:10-31).”
Hypothetically, let’s say that the discussion ends there. Let’s say that she did not want any further teaching on the subjects she asked about. The reason I gave this hypothetical correspondence is because I have met too many women, professing to be Christians, which have similar attitudes. The Scriptures do not teach women to have such attitudes.
Women Aren’t Learning This From God
Our society is beyond liberal in spiritual things. I am not sure of a fitting English word that will convey how corrupt morality is in America. Sisters in Christ, this world is not your standard to follow (Romans 12:1-3 and I Corinthians 3:18-19). Here is the clear truth concerning the role of a woman in authority within a marriage: “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing” (Ephesians 5:22-24). If you can understand how to submit to Christ and how Christ is the head of the church; you can understand how a woman is to submit to her husband.
Dearest sisters in Christ, why did God create you? We all (male and female) exist to do God’s pleasure (Revelation 4:11). Having said that, women have a particular purpose. Notice: “And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof. And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him. And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed“ (Genesis 2:18-25). Why didn’t God utterly destroy women from off the face of the earth? Open your Bible and read I Timothy 2:9-15.
Godly women are amazing (as cited earlier in my response email above - Proverbs 31:10-31). Godly women are great guides in the household (I Timothy 5:14). Godly women are great keepers of the home (Titus 2:3-5). I am who I am in a great part due to the support of my wife. However, godly women are not the head of the household or equals therein.
This article is titled “One That Ruleth Well His Own House” for a reason. Men are also to blame when their wives step out of line. God made one of the qualifications of an elder to be a man that ruleth well his own house (I Timothy 3:4-5). If your wife is wearing your pants, take them back! You will be to blame for not taking your role and filling it. Men, be able to make choices that your household will follow (Joshua 24:15). Man up (I Corinthians 16:13)!
Volume 15 – Issue 5 - October 19th, 2014