Sleeping With The Enemy
By: Brian A. Yeager

An “I do” is a serious statement that our culture commonly recognizes as words that begin a marriage commitment. The debate as to whether a Christian can be married to a non-Christian has been and always will be a heated debate. Here, in this congregation, we have several who are married to unbelievers. I will and always have stood firmly upon the premise that this is unwise, but not unscriptural (I Corinthians 7:10-16 and I Peter 3:1-8). I have a son who is dating a non-Christian girl (at the time I am writing this article) and if he chooses to marry her at some point I will not change my stand, for it is the Scriptural stand. In fact, both of my boys know that I would not even attend a ceremony if they made this decision. No gift, no congratulations coming from me!

There is a point that some Christians arrive at in life wherein they must choose to suffer through carnal lusts (I Peter 2:11) or get married to fulfill those sexual desires (I Corinthians 6:18-7:9). Again, as proven through the Scriptures already listed above, choosing to marry an unbeliever to fulfill those desires is not sinful. Having said that, sometimes a Scriptural decision can be made to do something and it still may not be the wisest decision.

Consider for a moment how marrying a non-Christian even has different implications for a woman than a man. Here locally, we could talk to Judy or Rebecca and would find that there were times in their marriages that their husbands made decisions that they did not like. However, as the submissive partner in that marriage (Ephesians 5:22-24), they could not really do anything about those decisions. The only exception would be if that decision would directly result in the Christian committing a sin (Colossians 3:18). Judy will tell you that her husband tried many times to get her not to worship God. In her words, “it is hard in more ways than one”. Her husband will bring things into the home she doesn’t want there. She cannot stop it.

Don’t think that a Christian man will have it easy either though. His wife will not agree that the Scriptures are the standard if she is not a faithful Christian. The woman is the guide of the house (I Timothy 5:14 and Titus 2:3-5). Where do you think that will lead? In my marriage, which is awesome, Katrina and I live by the same standard. We both know the Scriptures well. All of our decisions are based upon the Scriptures. Therefore, we are of one-mind and do not have disagreements. It is peaceful (II Corinthians 13:11). Where will the Christian have that with an unbeliever? If an argument arises, the standard of discussion will not be the same. The fact is, not matter how “nice” the unbeliever is, you have married the enemy.

A Person Of The World Is On The Other Side

We are in a spiritual battle (II Corinthians 10:1-5, Ephesians 6:10-17, I Timothy 6:12, and II Timothy 2:1-4). Jesus said: “He that is not with me is against me…” (Matthew 12:30). Jesus also said: “If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you. If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you. Remember the word that I said unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord. If they have persecuted me, they will also persecute you; if they have kept my saying, they will keep yours also” (John 15:18-20). How can you love someone that hates your first love (Christ)? A person of the world is on the other side of enemy lines.

James, through the inspiration of God (II Timothy 3:16-17), wrote:
“Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God” (James 4:4). Let’s be honest here. How can a person read that Scripture and not, at the very least, question any close relationship with an unbeliever? While it is Scripturally okay with God to have part in worldly associations (I Corinthians 5:9-13 and I Corinthians 10:27), can they really be had without any doubts (Romans 14:23)? If you said yes, read James 4:4 again. Think about how a person of the world does NOT know the Lord (I John 3:1).

People of the world love different things than that which Christians love (I John 2:15-17). Jesus called people of the world “evil” (John 7:7). People of the world, according to God, are in wickedness (I John 5:19). These are things that Christians have left, recognizing the evil thereof (Ephesians 2:1-3). Crossing back, behind enemy lines, and finding a mate has a lot of consequences that show that decision to be unwise.

Some Scriptural Thoughts That Show Sleeping With The Enemy To Be Unwise

What can a bad influence do to a child of God (Proverbs 13:20 and I Corinthians 15:33)? Prior to Jesus being on earth, the wisest man was Solomon (I Kings 4:29-34). Solomon himself warned about the downfalls of chasing after the wrong type of person (Proverbs 5:3-5, Proverbs 6:23-28, Proverbs 12:4, Proverbs 21:9, and Proverbs 25:24). Yet, this wise man fell away because he slept with the enemy (I Kings 11:1-11). Shouldn’t we learn from that (Romans 15:4 and I Corinthians 10:1-12)?

Aside from the factor of influence and other things we covered in this article, consider that there are other areas of a Christian’s life that are made very difficult through sleeping with the enemy. How can a Christian hate that which is evil when he or she is cleaving to it (Romans 12:9)? How can a Christian be a light to the world (Matthew 5:14-16) when towing darkness on his or her arm? How can a Christian raise spiritually minded children (Ephesians 6:1-4) when only half of the home is spiritually minded? What happens to divided houses (Mark 3:25)? What will happen if a Christian has to forsake someone or something to serve the Lord (Luke 14:25-33) and his or her mate doesn’t understand? What happens if a Christian has to physically move to find faithful saints to worship with, but his or her mate doesn’t want to leave family behind (Matthew 10:34-37)? How many more questions need to be raised to see the lacking wisdom of sleeping with the enemy?


If it comes down to needing to marry so badly to fulfill sexual desires, the authority is there to sleep with the enemy. However, understand that such a decision will have heavy challenges. Are temporary carnal pleasures really worth all of that (Hebrews 11:24-26)?

Volume 15 – Issue 30 - April 12th, 2015