Some People Should Not Be Parents
By: Brian A. Yeager
Our society is terrible. The fact that the world is bad is not some new thing (Ecclesiastes 1:9; cf. Acts 2:40, Galatians 1:4, and I John 5:19). If you have a present hope that good things are coming in the near future, your hope is sadly misplaced. There are telling things that give us a glimpse of the future. For example, the word of God shows us that children often follow the principles they were raised with. Notice: “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6).
The training that children of our community are receiving is terrible. Our local community is full of parents that are not able to act right themselves, let alone guide their children aright. God shows us that when the leaders of a people err those who follow them often err too (Isaiah 3:12, Isaiah 9:16, and Matthew 15:14). Therefore, we can expect that since the teachers of this generation’s children are ignorant, so shall those children be that follow that course. The only possible good for the near future is found in the exceptions, which there generally are a few (II Chronicles 29:1-11 and II Chronicles 34:1-35:27).
Realizing that the future is often dependent upon parenting is a scary thing. Parents are expected by God to bring up their children to obey Him (Ephesians 6:1-4). When you look around, you can see that there are not many faithful, Christian parents in our world today. Thus, you can expect failure on the point of this generation’s children being raised correctly.
As you think about the brief points of this study, the future is not all that bright for our country. That is not the main point of this study though. These were just some introductory points to get your mind working. What I am thinking about, and am trying to get you thinking about, is how few parents in our world today are really capable of parenting. Obviously, from a godly standpoint, few will raise their children correctly spiritually. That is the most significant point. However, even when you think about parenting on a carnal level, few parents fit the bill of what a parent needs to be. There are some qualities that parenting requires which are absent from many people in our world today.
Parents Should Have Some Abilities…
Parents are first and foremost supposed to be teachers (Deuteronomy 4:9 and Deuteronomy 6:6-7). Of course, the first thing parents should be capable in teaching is the word of God (Genesis 18:18-19). That is what everyone needs to be able to truly live (Matthew 4:4 and John 6:63). In addition to that, parents are expected to train children up. Failure to guide children is not overlooked by God (I Samuel 3:12-14). Parents need to be able to show their children right from wrong (Proverbs 4:1 and Isaiah 38:19). Parents need to be capable of offering sound counsel to their children so that they do not err . Even in the case when one parent may be faithful to God and another is not (Acts 16:1), that faithful parent should guide the child properly (II Timothy 1:5).
A parent must also be able to be a disciplinarian. Today’s parents seem more desirous to be friends with their children than to be their parents. Today’s parents want their children to like them, rather than obey them. The word of God shows us that a parent MUST be able and willing to discipline their children. Notice: “Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying… Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him… Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell… The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame. When the wicked are multiplied, transgression increaseth: but the righteous shall see their fall. Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul” (Proverbs 19:18, Proverbs 22:15, Proverbs 23:13-14, and Proverbs 29:15-17).
A parent who is a good teacher and a good disciplinarian, must also be able to show affection to his or her children. Love in the home is a very important ingredient (Titus 2:4). However, we live in a time wherein evil abounds. The Bible shows us that during such times “natural affection” is often absent in society (II Timothy 3:1-5). Thus, without love, you may have parents who teach and correct; but they fail as parents because it is not motivated by love. Those children then grow up to be tomorrow’s criminals because they’ve been abused as children rather than lovingly taught and corrected.
Parents who cannot teach, correct, and love their children should not be parents. Children are not like puppies. You cannot just decide to have a child because they are cute and you can hold them. Children grow up. They become accountable adults in the eyes God and of the world. A parent who does not understand the responsibility of parenting should not have children. There is no “humane society” to step in and pick up as parents when unqualified men and women no longer want the “cute little kid”.
Day cares and school rooms are not parents or substitutes for parents. A parent needs to understand the responsibility they accept when they choose to have sex and possibly bear children. The Lord says, to young widows specifically, this: “I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully” (I Timothy 5:14). Think about the wording, though the context may not apply to all, the point does apply to all wives/mothers. A wife/mother is expected not just to have a child, but also to “guide the house”. No day care qualifier or after school program can do that for you. A person who does not understand that should not have children!
Parents who can teach, correct, and love are the keys to raising children correctly. Those parents are going to be good leaders (cf. I Timothy 3:1-7). They are going to lead their children in the right direction for the right reasons. Sincerity will be a key ingredient for all they do. People who do not have those abilities, which some just do not, should not be parents. It is not fair to that person, the child that will be born, or society that will be left with the mess that person creates as a parent. Moreover, that will just be one more child born to go to Hell.
Volume 14 – Issue 36 - May 25th, 2014