The church is made up of men and women who obey the Gospel of Jesus Christ (Acts 2:47).  Men and women that make up the body of Christ are not faultless.  While a Christian should continue to grow (II Peter 1:3-8), sin can still be committed.  Sometimes those sins are committed against a fellow saint.  In that case, we face the question of how should I approach my brother or sister in Christ with whom I have found a problem?  First however, we ought to be sure that the problem we have with our brothers or sisters in Christ is truly a problem and not a personality conflict or matter of personal conscience.

     There was once an older lady who found the appearance of a younger man rather appalling.  Anyone paying attention to this older sister in Christ when the young man would enter the room would notice a change in her demeanor.  This older sister finally made her objection known to the young man.  Her objection was that she could not believe he would show up to worship God with facial hair and a bald head.  She even thought that this young man would “run off visitors because of his appearance”.  She further commented that this young man should not represent the church for his appearance was not appropriate.  She of course had to state her objections before all, because the young man did not seem too persuaded to change on her account.

     The truth of the matter is that there was a problem in this case.  However, it was not the younger man who was the source of this problem.  This older sister in Christ has every right to have her opinions on what does and does not look best on a man.  However, she has no right to make her opinion a matter of judgment on her brother in Christ (Romans 14:1-3; cf. I Timothy 4:1-3).  Her excuse, I have to speak my mind.  I suppose if she has to speak her mind, she ought to speak it in private!  If she has a true spiritual concern she should bring it to her brother or sister in Christ.

     Now, let us get to the true heart of the subject matter at hand.  When sin is committed soul(s) are at stake (Ezekiel 18:20, Romans 6:23, and Luke 13:3; 5).  When a sin is committed the right thing must be done to preserve the soul of the one who has not sinned and to help the one who has.  James said: “Brethren, if any of you do err from the truth, and one convert him; Let him know, that he which converteth the sinner from the error of his way shall save a soul from death, and shall hide a multitude of sins” (James 5:19-20).  We are truly dealing with a delicate matter.  When we know our brethren are in sin and that sin has not been dealt with (i.e. church discipline), we then have a responsibility to help restore that erring brother or sister in Christ (Galatians 6:1).

     If sin is committed in private, we then must first deal with it in that manner.  If that sin is not corrected in private and in the eyes of the Lord (I John 1:9) further action must be taken.  The second step therefore would be to bring one or two witnesses into the discussion.  If it is resolved, you have gained thy brother.  If not, the church then must be informed.  If the church cannot bring that person back to the right way, then discipline is to occur (II Thessalonians 3:6).  This is not the Brian Yeager plan, it is the Lord’s as He stated: “Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.  But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.  And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican” (Matthew 18:15-17).

     When we deal with how to approach a matter we often allow emotion to guide us.  We begin to express how we feel instead of what is right and wrong.  Sometimes we become concerned that a direct approach will startle a weak brother or sister in Christ and cause them to slip further away.  One does not get much younger in the faith than Simon when Peter had to deal with an error of this brother.  Notice how it was handled: “And when Simon saw that through laying on of the apostles' hands the Holy Ghost was given, he offered them money, Saying, Give me also this power, that on whomsoever I lay hands, he may receive the Holy Ghost.  But Peter said unto him, Thy money perish with thee, because thou hast thought that the gift of God may be purchased with money.  Thou hast neither part nor lot in this matter: for thy heart is not right in the sight of God.  Repent therefore of this thy wickedness, and pray God, if perhaps the thought of thine heart may be forgiven thee.  For I perceive that thou art in the gall of bitterness, and in the bond of iniquity.  Then answered Simon, and said, Pray ye to the Lord for me, that none of these things which ye have spoken come upon me” (Acts 8:18-24).

     Some would say that Peter came on strong.  Could it be that Peter was just following the example that Jesus set forth?  Notice one example of Jesus correcting one in error that Peter would be very familiar with: “From that time forth began Jesus to shew unto his disciples, how that he must go unto Jerusalem, and suffer many things of the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed, and be raised again the third day.  Then Peter took him, and began to rebuke him, saying, Be it far from thee, Lord: this shall not be unto thee.  But he turned, and said unto Peter, Get thee behind me, Satan: thou art an offence unto me: for thou savourest not the things that be of God, but those that be of men” (Matthew 16:21-23).  There is an old saying “tell it like it is”.  Jesus did just that.  Peter would block the mission of Christ, though with the best of intentions, if he was not put in his place.  If Peter would have left, could one argue he was really ever there?  The same is true of a Christian who wants to live his or her life according to the Gospel, but when it comes to being corrected they run for the high hills.

     Rebuking those whom we care about is a showing of love (Revelation 3:19).  Sometimes we may have to take someone to task in front of others if they have sinned publicly (Galatians 2:11-14).  These things are good and honest.  There is no better way to correct error than being plain and clear in speech.

     I have heard some discussions where corrections were attempted, but they were done jokingly.  Let me give an example.  Joe notices that David has not been attending faithfully.  Joe walks up to David and says “David, it sure would be nice to see you around more often, I love that off pitch singing you do right behind me, ha ha ha.”  David walks away not knowing whether he was just insulted or if Joe was kidding about his bad singing.  Hey, he even may wonder if Joe wishes he would move from behind him when he is there.  Now, Joe could have been a whole lot more effective had he just told David that he is in violation of the Scriptures (Hebrews 10:25 and Colossians 3:1-3) and needed to correct the problem.  There is absolutely no confusion in that.  A soul is at stake, it is not comedy hour or time to beat around the huge bush without end.  Be like Jesus, tell it like it is!

     No one likes to deal with controversy and get into discussions were tempers might rage.  If all Christians were taught properly we would all know that a rebuke is a loving action.  We would know that we need to accept that we do sin and love our brethren who are willing to point out those weak areas of our lives.  We, as stated earlier, need to be sure that if we bring a charge to a fellow saint that it is truly a matter of faith or an issue wherein sin has occurred.

     Jesus said: “A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.  By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another” (John 13:34-35).  How can we profess to be saints if we do not love our brethren enough to help them get to Heaven?  When one commits sin they are leaving God and placing themselves in the arms of the devil (I John 3:8).  Why would any loving brother or sister in Christ sit back idly while a fellow Christian signs their eternal death certificate?  The answer, no faithful Christian would.  So, how should I approach my brother or sister who has sinned, the answer – genuinely as the word of God instructs.  In meekness and love, instructing those that oppose themselves that they may recover themselves out of the snare of the devil, who are taken captive by him at his will (II Timothy 2:26).  Just tell it like it is!