There are many things that the devil uses to try and sway Christians from serving God.  It might just be that one of the more effective tools in his arsenal is our family members.  Second to that, might just be those whom we call friends.  While there are certainly those like the rich young ruler who loved his possessions more than the Lord (Luke 18:18-23), using those who are close to us has caused many to lose their souls.

     Somewhere along the line, many Christians forget that the Lord is supposed to come first in our lives.  Jesus has made this abundantly clear for us saying: “He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it...   Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind” (Matthew 10:39 and Matthew 22:37).  We give our lives to the Lord and we fit everything else in after Him.  There are times though when these principles fail to be recalled.  When family calls us sometimes we answer them before the call of the Lord.

     I knew a couple once who thought it more important to spend time at the wife’s mother’s home on holidays (that happened to fall at times when the saints assemble) rather than with faithful Christians.  They would make many excuses, but ultimately they made a choice.  They chose family over the Lord.  They would, to relieve their guilty consciences, worship with the liberal church there in town or travel north to another liberal church.  All of this, when the congregation which they belonged to was only an hour and twenty minutes from mom’s house.  They made a choice to neglect their responsibilities (Hebrews 10:25; cf. Colossians 3:1-3).  It is a shame when people miss where the Lord clarified that He comes before our families.

     Notice the following statements made by Jesus: “Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.  For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.  And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.  He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me…  Then Peter began to say unto him, Lo, we have left all, and have followed thee.  And Jesus answered and said, Verily I say unto you, There is no man that hath left house, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my sake, and the gospel's… And it came to pass, that, as they went in the way, a certain man said unto him, Lord, I will follow thee whithersoever thou goest.  And Jesus said unto him, Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests; but the Son of man hath not where to lay his head.  And he said unto another, Follow me. But he said, Lord, suffer me first to go and bury my father.  Jesus said unto him, Let the dead bury their dead: but go thou and preach the kingdom of God.  And another also said, Lord, I will follow thee; but let me first go bid them farewell, which are at home at my house.  And Jesus said unto him, No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God…  If any man come to me, and hate [prefer; love less] not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple” (Matthew 10:34-37, Mark 10:28-29, Luke 9:57-62, and Luke 14:26).

     I know that this subject matter is delicate.  People love their families.  Thus, I simply quoted above what Jesus said.  When one has a problem with that, they have a problem with Jesus.  Jesus does not want our second best or what is leftover from our weekend with mom, dad, brother, sister, husband, wife, child, cousin, or uncle (not to exclude grandparents or anyone else).  The Lord demands that we seek Him and His kingdom first (Matthew 6:33).

     Sadly, there are some who will follow family instead of following Jesus.  There are some who will not listen to the Gospel because of the religious affiliation of their family members.  There are some who will leave a congregation because their family members have been scripturally disciplined.  All of these things, and those things likened unto them, are loving family more than God.  Wasn’t Jesus clear enough?  Why do people get offended at this matter of truth?  Maybe people don’t understand the role of family?

     Someone who puts the Lord first is going to be a great family member to have.  The child will obey and honor his / her parents (Ephesians 6:1-3).  The parents will love their children, discipline them to save their souls, and bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord (Titus 2:4, Proverbs 23:13-14, and Ephesians 6:4).  The husband will love his wife and be the spiritual leader of his home to save his family while the wife will fill her God given roles (Ephesians 5:22ff.).  Thus, putting the Lord first in one’s life is a benefit to a family that desires to serve the Lord.  Those however, who choose not to serve the Lord, will not find a Christian family member willing to sacrifice their service to God to please the family!  Such is true of so-called friends also.

     Sometimes friendships can be nearly as good of a tool for the devil as families often are.  We should first be clear on something.  If a Christian has friends in this world they can expect to have problems if they are living their lives right.  Jesus said: “And ye shall be hated of all men for my name's sake: but he that endureth to the end shall be saved” (Matthew 10:22).  Friendship with the world is enmity with God (James 4:4).  We are told not to love the world or the things of the world (I John 2:15-17).  One has to wonder how a faithful child of God can get along with those of this world (II Corinthians 6:14-17).  Moreover, when Jesus came into this world it was those of the world that hated Him (John 3:19-20).

     Sadly, the good ole’ boy and girl system is not only a problem when our friends are of the world, but more so at times when our friends are planted tools of the devil within the church.  They will call upon us to overlook their transgressions while we then are expected to put our souls in danger for not helping them from the error of their ways (Ezekiel 3:18 and Galatians 6:1).  Sometimes our so-called Christian friends will ask us to go and do things that Christians ought to avoid (I Thessalonians 5:22).  When we deny following them into sinful activities they will ask why we don’t love them.  Sometimes our so-called Christian friends put us into positions where we have to be part of the local church carrying out scriptural discipline (II Thessalonians 3:6; 14).  They get mad and expect us not to avoid them. Those erring brethren will expect you to defy the Lord and the brethren by keeping company with them when they refuse to repent.

     Preachers and elders often find that the good ole’ boy system among brethren is into heavy effect when error is taught.  Those that teach error often define good friendship by those who are willing to support them either in truth or error.  Yet, if we choose to disobey God we have lost a friend in Jesus (John 15:14).  Sometimes we have to choose to be a friend of the Lord instead of friends of men.  We certainly cannot please men and God at the very same time (Galatians 1:10).

     Some would begin to argue “why are you making me choose?”  It is not I, but the Lord who requires you to put Him first.  What is sad to me is that so many do not understand why.  Our Father in Heaven has put us first.  He has given us life, that which sustains life, His Son to die that our lives might continue, and His word to keep us prepared for the Judgment Day.  Who are we to complain that He expects our lives in return for all that He has done for us?

     If our family members or friends expect us to desert the Lord for them, they are not our family or friends.  A true family member or friend would understand that you, being a Christian, are aiming to spend eternity in Heaven.  What kind of family member or friend would ask you to give that up?  The reward is certainly worth the cost of relationships with those who do not love our souls.  By way of conclusion, notice Peter’s question and our Lord’s answer: “Then Peter said, Lo, we have left all, and followed thee.  And he said unto them, Verily I say unto you, There is no man that hath left house, or parents, or brethren, or wife, or children, for the kingdom of God's sake, Who shall not receive manifold more in this present time, and in the world to come life everlasting” (Luke 18:28-30).